Or, how I almost ruined my entire year in the first three days….
I love the new year. I “secretly” love to make resolutions. Only I don’t call them resolutions because that’s stupid and I only make it for about 2 days on whatever resolution I make. So, I do the sneaky thing and call them goals.
But then, the problem I have is that I like BIG goals–like knock your socks off, achieve the big things, get-really-excited about them goals. And I like to have quite a few of them. I get very excited about my new and shiny goals (I’m going to organize the WHOLE house! We’re going to be Vegan! I’m going to drop 8 pounds! I’m going to be an urban homesteader! I’m going to read a million books! I’m going to Journal. Every. Day! We’re going to have date nights every week! I’m going to go on a retreat one a quarter!–I’m sure you see the problem.)
However, when I start asking myself what I am going to do to achieve these goals, my head starts spinning out of control. How do I workout and clean and plan meals and do all the things…and not loose my head over it all? The honest answer is: I can’t possibly. And I start to totally freak out. I get totally immobilized and essentially achieve nothing for a few days and then I just stop. I don’t do anything. At all.
This year started as the others do: I’m going to to ALL THE THINGS! (I even had a blog post to write about all the things I was going to achieve–you would have been so impressed.) But I learned a few things in 2020 about my limits and my desires. I really do want to do all the things, but I am not super-human. Some things are more important than others. Some things will happen/not happen quite naturally alongside other healthy choices.
So this year, I set only two real goals for myself.
- Be able to do 10 pull-ups & 10 chin-ups. (Along with working out, I know I will eat better because HEALTH).
- I want to be signed by an agent who believes in my work and wants to publish it. (This requires multiple steps & levels of work in social media, writing/editing, and perseverance in order to be achieved.)
And that’s it.
Because along with all the things I want to do in life, I want to practice grace and kindness. And the first person who needs to receive that from me….is me.
What about you? Do you do goals? Resolutions? How does it go for you? I’d love to hear!
I know this was quite a process this past week for you! I also love the drama in your first sentence, that you nearly ruined your year in three days! I do believe in goals and fresh starts but sometimes I feel like that happens mid March or end of summer for me as much as January 1. Winter is hard for me.